Musings on life and Melville's Bartleby

What to do? What to do?

Lately, in my life, I have been caught between the things I want to do and the things I need to do. I have been thinking in a very Melville-esque way. To explain this, one would need to know that I have been reading Herman Melville's novella "Bartleby, the Scrivener: A Story of Wall Street" in my English class. This text has, in a way, gotten under my skin and engraved itself there. So a correction, or a better way of stating the first sentence would be to say that I have been thinking in a very Bartleby-esque way.

For those who do not know the story of "Bartleby, the Scrivener" I highly suggest you run, don't walk to your nearest bookstore and pick up a copy. The text is short but full of all sorts of imagery, a few paradoxes, and a lot of subtleties and ambiguities.

The title character, Bartleby, is often asked to do things by the narrator. These things may be work (to go over his copy), to leave the office, to divulge information about himself and his life prior to meeting the narrator. His response is always "I would prefer not to."  The line is always said calmly without any hesitation or trepidation. I find it very interesting that he can say the line that way, without even worrying what the reaction might be.

I would say that I find it notable that he can refuse to do things so calmly. But the line "I would prefer not to" raises many questions. One of them being it's intention and meaning. Is it really a refusal?  Does "I would prefer not to" mean that he would not do the work at all, just that he'd prefer to do something else?

In some ways, I think I am becoming like Bartleby. I do work. But there are many things I'd prefer not to do. I'd prefer not to do math, I'd prefer not to have class at 8:30 in the morning (but I go partially because it's a required class and I adore the professor). I'd prefer not to need glasses for reading. There are so many things I'd prefer not to do. So, does that make me a Bartleby? Or does Bartleby belong in a different category altogether?

Is preferring not to do something as unproductive as not doing it at all?