For quite some time, I have been self-conscious. It may just be part of my personality, it could relate to the fact that I was teased in grade school, middle school and part of high school. Or it could just be life. Growing pains, perhaps?
In retrospect, I think it is because I am awkward. It's not exactly a bad thing. Awkward can be funny, pretty, and even sexy in some cases. It's all about how you carry yourself. I try to embrace my awkward, unconventional style.
This change first started when I changed my style, sort of. I would sometimes wear outfits that weren't "the norm" or things that really didn't match. You couldn't exactly put a finger on my style. I wasn't mostly preppy, mostly punk, mostly goth, or mostly bohemian...or whatever. I was just Heather, plain and simple. I wore all sorts of things, some of them could've been considered as punk or goth or preppy, but I didn't really like putting labels on my style.
I decided to dress how I wanted to. If I wanted to feel pretty, I would put on a pretty outfit, or a dress. If wanted to be casual, I would gladly wear jeans. It wasn't about impressing people. It was about doing things for myself. That really helped me.
Here's the awkwardness: I am four foot eleven and a half. Basically, I am short. I look younger than my age. I look like a high school student, not a college student. I have learned to embrace these things about me. I no longer feel the need to where high heels to feel "sexy" or "pretty". Why hurt your feet to impress people? Often, it's all for people you really don't like.
I also ready extremely long books that hardly any of my classmates have heard of. I love Alan Rickman movies (this is not exactly awkward, but mixed in with everything else, it ads to the equation). I am also very English. I love English history. It enthralls me. I don't watch TV. I have not watched a full TV series in 5 years. It doesn't interest me.
So...there you have it!
Have a nice day!
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